sick.

stomach flu = first school absence today..............

bunny got to go.

bunny (who now she calls "bunny" as often as she calls her "demma") made it to elsie's school with her yesterday. not because bunny was invited or even welcomed by the school, but because when elsie's teacher pulled her from the car, she had an unrelenting death grip on bunny. when teacher tried to pry bunny from her hands, elsie said "no!" through her sobbing and red face. okay, bunny goes.

the good news is that it's really only the departure that poses such anxiety. once inside, she calms after 10 or 15 minutes. she's then fine and seems to be more independent than she was initially, doing her own work, even dancing for the teacher by late afternoon.

still very attached to mommy when not at school, but i think this will get better, too. of course, bunny is still constantly in tow.

day three

with tears in her eyes, "i don't want to go to cool." that was before we left the house. on the way to school, it was "i don't like my cool." sigh. when we arrived in the school's driveway, i turn to see her eyes brimming with tears. she's trying to hold it back but it's coming. by the time she saw the teacher walking toward the car, she was sobbing. mrs. gatchalian opened the door and tried to unbuckle elsie from her car seat, but elsie pushed her hands away and said "no!" my heart was breaking. when the teacher finally freed elsie from her seat, elsie reached out and grabbed a hold of the seat back trying to pull herself back in. she was sobbing uncontrollably and i almost couldn't stop my own tears. i just couldn't let her see me cry. "have fun at school today, i love you." mrs. gatchalian swept elsie away on her hip, carrying her lunchbox in the other hand. swift walk to the front door and they disappear inside. i pull out of the driveway, make a right turn, pull over and sob for five minutes. by far the hardest day of being mommy so far.

rest assured, when i checked on her via the classroom webcam, she was doing just fine. close to the teacher, but not crying. she even pulled out a mat, sat and did some "work."

sigh.

woodland park zoo

we took elsie to woodland park zoo on saturday, 9/18, for the first time. it was a surprise for her after her first week at school. she had no idea where we were, even once we were inside. it was great fun and we had beautiful weather.

loading the pics here diminishes the color - the entrance is really beautiful...

elsie looking at the gorillas!

lil' birdie.

orangutan peeking at elsie from under a potato sack! very cute. and very big!

this little guy came swinging through the branches and crashing up against the glass. scared elsie to pieces and she refused to approach the glass.

the elephants!

oh my gosh, elephants are the best part!

that elephant is this big!

elsie's long-time sign for elephant.

komodo dragon. she didnt like him at all.

we also saw a brown bear and an eagle. so much fun!

she fell asleep ten minutes after getting in the car...

very first day of school.

wednesday, september 15th, our girl became a preschool student at lakeside montessori. after all the build-up, the picking out and purchasing of a lunchbox, buying new school clothes & shoes, and trying to prepare her for the fact that mommy and daddy were not, in fact, going to school with her, it was here.

she didn't go right to sleep the night before, which she's normally good about. i think she knew something was about to change. she managed to stall sleep for over an hour before finally giving up, crawling back into her bed and closing her eyes. we woke her at 7, which is early for our girl, and started again with "it's your first day of school!"

we didn't leave the house until 8:30 but we were scrambling for an hour and a half to feed and clothe her, brush her teeth, pack her lunch, do her hair and, of course, do a quick photo shoot. (why does everything take longer with a toddler?) then off we went in the car, charles & me together with elsie, to deliver our girl to school for the very first time. sigh.

she chatted all the way, talking about nothing in particular but coming up with her own stories like she always does. she'd point to a house, "that my house" and then to another "that kayley house" then another "that my mommy house." very silly. i think it was her nerves, or her toddler version of nerves, knowing there was something big about to happen.

at the school, they have a drop off system in the driveway. the teachers and aids greet you at your car, take your child out and escort them inside. every day, every kid. this minimizes the trauma for first-timers or for the young ones who struggle with going to school. it also limits the chaos of everyone trying to park, get inside, say goodbye, blah, blah, blah. so we pull up to the driveway and are greeted by mrs. gatchalian, her teacher, who opens the back door and with much enthusiasm says hello to elsie with a giant smile and asks if she's ready to go to class. i ask if i should even get out of the car as the teacher is unbuckling elsie from her car seat. 'no.' i knew she was going to say that. sigh.

elsie climbs out of her car seat and stands there, inside the car, not sure she wants to get out. mrs. gatchalian takes bunny from elsie and says "how about we leave him here until after school." oh no - bunny can't go in! i give her lots of kisses and tell her to have fun at school......all from the front seat of the car. ugh. then mrs. gatchalian says to me, "ok, i gotta pick her up so this might be......" i know. it's time. she picks her up and settles her on her hip, grabs her lunchbox and bag of extra clothes, blanket and pillow, and off she goes with my kid, in one quick, fluid motion. (she's done this before.)

elsie doesn't cry. she waved at us as she was carried off to the front doors of the school. she was unsure and when she's unsure she gets quiet, very tentative, observing everything. we pull away, waving crazily out the open window of the car. the second we can no longer see our girl, we both begin to cry. i sob. very ugly cry, almost all the way home.

once home, i log on to view the web cam in elsie's class room. yes, that's right, there's a web cam. (sigh of relief.) i see elsie standing in her class room, just watching from the side. she's not sure what to do so she watches. after seeing one of the aids engage with her, i log off.

this is torture. i can't sit here and watch this all day. can i? i go do productive things for a while. then i log on again. all the kids lined up and went outside to play but elsie stayed behind. i watched as mrs. gatchalian stayed with her and walked around the classroom showing her all of the "work" and fun things they have there. eventually mrs. gatchalian got her to go outside. log off.

i checked on her periodically throughout the day. she ate her lunch, she sat in circle time, she took off her shoes. mostly she stayed very near the teacher or one of the two aids in her room. this is normal for 2.5 yrs i'm told, and it seems to me she's doing well because she's not sitting in the middle of the room crying her eyes out.

finally, it's time to go pick her up. charles has called and cannot stay away so he'll meet me there. my mom has called, she's going to tag along with me because, well she worries about me and loves elsie so wants to be there.

pick-up happens very much the same way drop off does, in the driveway. they intercom to the class and ask them to send your child up. i see her appear, holding the hand of an aid with another child. she's so tired and so overwhelmed that it doesn't register at first that mommy's standing in front of her. finally she makes eye contact with me and her face lights up, a familiar smile spreading across her mouth and reflecting comfort in her eyes. sigh. my baby. she wants up so i lift her to my hip. aware that the cars are lined up for other children, i race back to the car to secure her in her car seat when daddy is driving by in his truck. again she fills with excitement, "daddy!" after securing her in the car, charles climbs into the backseat and i park the car across the street. me, my mom, charles and elsie all in the car. "how was your fist day of school?" "do you like your teacher?" "did you have fun?"

elsie: "what we doin'?" confused that we were all piled in the car and parked at the fire station, staring at her, breath held, awaiting some witty stories. okay, give the kid a break, she wants to go home. so home we came and along the way she summed up her day for me.

"i mad at you guys for leaving me."

it's hard being a parent. the teacher said she did very well for her first day, but she did have two accidents. she doesn't like going potty with people she doesn't know. it will pass and she'll be okay. she also made three new friends the first day. she played with them outside and ate lunch with one of them. i think it was a successful first day - now that i've dropped her off for her second day, especially. more on that another time...

peanut butter & honey flower sandwich. orange, peeling started because she likes to peel them herself. grapes and string cheese. juice to wash it all down.

en route to her first day. a little nervous....

mrs. gatchalian carrying her into the school.

last day...

today was elsie's last day with her kayley. that's not to say that she won't be spending time with her bud, just not the structured three days a week she's used to having. there are lots of fun stories i could share about what they've done together with their time, like when elsie tossed her bunny out the open car window while they were driving down the road. kayley went back for bunny of course and rescued it from certain destruction in the middle of the road. or their visits to auntie kel, playing with the woofies and hanging with the thompsons. lots of snacks and lots of treats, lots of story books and lots of songs. a few naps.

mostly though, my girl has a very special bond with a pretty incredible lady that i believe will last forever. to elsie, she will always be "my kayley."

and kayley will always be my friend. we're all better for having had this opportunity. thank you kayley, you are an amazing woman and we love you very much! best of everything to you as you take your warmth, nurturing and love of life to other children - they will be better for it, just like elsie.

transition.

no more pacifier + no nap = very hard day.

i know, i know, it'll pass. just hope it passes quickly.

best buds

this is fosie. actually it's sophie but elsie affectionately calls her "fosie" because she often swaps the sounds around in words. ("because" is actually "kapuz" for instance.) sophie is three and lives next door with her parents, peter and amanda, who have become our good friends. we all spend quite a bit of time together, usually enjoying a good meal and a glass or two of wine while the girls play. it's a nice arrangement and i have a feeling it will be that way for many years to come...... i often say that sophie might be elsie's tricia. tricia is my bff and has been since we were two years old. it's a gift and i love her. of course i want elsie to have a tricia.

(thank you, beth, for the fab pic of our girls!)

kelsey creek farm

we spent labor day at kelsey creek farm with kayley - great fun!

her new favorite is beyonce's "single ladies" so she needed to sing that to the goats and show them her moves. many, many shots of her moves.... "all the single ladies, all the single ladies."

"work"

so as many of you know, montessori uses the term "work" for what the children do at school, it's not play. they choose their "work" from the shelves, take it to a place on the floor or to a table, and "work" on it until they are done, at which time they are to put it away. "work" may resemble what the rest of us refer to as toys or play, as my husband did on our first visit to elsie's new school. pretty cute. he was told, "we call it work here." right, of course.

we've now been to elsie's school three times with her, the last two times have only been short visits and while she seems excited about the whole thing, i wasn't sure she was completely plugged into what was going on around her there. ha. until yesterday.

my mom bought her a new "toy," which is the updated version of what we all knew as the 'etch a sketch.' (oh they are so much cooler now, have a look.) she loves this new toy and we took it with us in the car yesterday when we met grandma and grandpa at the new school, then had dinner together.

on the way home, as elsie worked away at her new toy, charles asked her, "whatcha doin' back there?"

elsie replies, "i just doin' this work."